Reflection

How surreal and ironic...that we can find beauty in even the most unattractive of circumstances? Here I sit in my "CHU" (just a fancy Army acronym for Containerized Housing Unit..."trailer"...) suffering through a nasty sinus infection brought on by incessant dust storms and periods of rain and then dryness again...I sit and marvel at my eldest daughter Madeleine...playing in the livingroom, squealing with delight as she sees my image appear on the TV screen. She scoots rapidly towards the TV shouting in her adorably high pitched voice: "Hey Dada...Hey Dada" and gets as close as she can. As if that were not enough to melt even the hardest of stonewalled man hearts...I am further astonished by the fact that she finds the webcam...grabs it...and looks straight into it as she 'talks" to me...just like she were looking me straight in the eyes. I am a puddle right now...a mass of love filled goo...No matter how tough or how courageous and bold I may try to be...a little angel...my little angel, a girl just shy of 2 years of age...has just reduced me to a puddle of mush with a heart beating so strongly that my neighbor is asking me to "keep it down over there". What a blessing our children are!

My youngest child, Juliana...is growing like a weed. She is not even 4 months old yet...and she is 16 pounds and change. This may not seem huge to you...but to put things in perspective, my daughter Madeleine is almost 2 and is just barely over 20 pounds. Julie looks huge to me! And my goodness, she is a bit of a drama princess already! My lovely bride certainly has her hands more than full. Julie is doing things now that Madeleine did not do until she was 9 or 10 months old. Yes i know that we are talking apples and oranges...but that is not at all a comparisson...it is just an observation of the wisdom of our Lord. I am so thankful for everything that my babies are able to do...not because I expect them to meet some arbitrary developmental timeline...but because simply..."they can". I am thankful that both my daughters aree who they are. Madeleine has a full deck stacked against her...and I dare you to find a happier baby than her. Juliana may have it easy in comparison to her big sister...but I have nothing to compare her to...so I am equally as amazed and astounded at her accomplishments. God knows me well...he knew exactly how to grant me comfort and peace...moreso contentment...during this tour.

My bride...what can I say about my amazing wife? She is still exactly like she has always been...just better at everything that she was already so good at. I love the smile that she gives me when she and I chat over Skype. She always looks so excited to see mee and to share her day with the girls. I love the look of pure joy on her face as she tells me about how their day has been...or something funny that one of the girls did...you cannot manufacture a smile like that. My Katherine has always worn her emotions on her face..and there is no hiding them. I cherish that kind of honesty.

In the last days here in Baghdad...i have seen sunny days of 90 degree temps...a beautiful Blue Bird day of no more than the low 80's today...and just a few days ago...it even rained mud...YES...in all absolute honesty it literally rained MUD. We had a dust storm rolling through at the same time that a thunderstorm came in...so as the droplets fell they collected dust particles and thus...it rained mud. Only in Baghdad right?

I have done things here that i never dreamed were possible. I have eaten steak and lobster almost every day since i have beeen here. That is awesome...not something that I will maintain as I am sure my sister will tell me it is bad for me. But I think it is great that the soldiers that are out there on the line...risking it all on a daily basis...can come to a good chow all and get quality food that doesn't taste bad at all! Thats how this place should be after 7 years of occupation. I have gotten an iced coffee drink almost every day. Green bean coffee has several locations here and they make a pretty decent Mocha or Latte Frappuccino. I have really enjoyed them as they work to keep me awake through a 14 hour workday...and they also are great at cooling mee off. Those that know me well, you know that literally, I am hot...actually VERY HOT as soon as the ambient temperature gets above 70 degrees fahrenheit. So I sweat ALL day long here. I drink about 6-8 liters of water a day and I am still dehydrated most of the time. So a frozen drink feels great. I have also eaten at 2 different Greek and Lebanese style restaurents here on the Victory Base Complex since I have been here. I ate at one today that overlooks one of the lakes..had real silverware and bone china. The food was amazingly good and the flatbread and hommus was outta this world! I have taken a tour of Al Faw palace...seen carp in the lake as big as a Gulf Blue Fin Tuna...and all the while...I haven't touched my M4 Carbine other than to dust it off from sitting in the locked box... I carry around my pistol and my Randall knife just for basic force protection and I feel "overdressed" with them on. Who would have thought that a mere 5 years ago...I was busy trying to keep me and my guys from getting killed every day. On these very roads surrounding our base...we lost some of the finest men that have ever worn the uniform... Furthermore...I see more and more evidence daily...that the Iraqi military and Security forces are getting the hang of this mess. Sure...it is challenging. Our soldiers are still at grave risk every time they execute a mission... But this...all of this that I just described...this is "Winning the War"...this is progress...this is so very close...so very near...what we have been fighting for. I pray...so honestly and sincerely that this is the time...that we could be here...for the last time. I hope this is the beginning of a lasting peace...for us and for the people of Iraq.

In the midst of all of this stuff...all of this stuff going on in my life...life is going on around me. Friends are having Crawfish Boils at home...kids are having birthday parties...It all seems so very far away. But then one of my friends and his wife miscarried again...another brutal reminder of how cruel life can be...a test of faith that God will provide a way...an answer to a desperate prayer. I can only imagine how tough it must be for them to go through this over and over...I have little to offer in the way of comfort...and it makes me so desperate to look towards the heavens and say "come on Father"...just a little help here...but I relent and simply fall to my knees in prayer..offering the most of what i can...prayer for their comfort and health. I think of one of my mentors ...traveling home to be with his suddenly ill bride...his bride that he is so obviously still madly in love with...a daily topic of conversation among the two of us is the welfare of our respective families...asked and answered with sincerity and not the mere point of conversation that exists among passers by. I pray too for their comfort...for her healing...for safety throughout the long flight home. I cannot help but wonder to myself..."Father..right now?...as we need our leaders so greatly?" But I defer to his judgement...his plan...his path for us. Its so hard to try to understand what it is that drives us all. What is it that links us together in some sort of order. I have to believe...to trust that it is Father that makes it all happen..that God is what makes it all right. Even in all of this turmoil...Katherine's cousin is pregnant with another child...and the excitement of new life and a simbling for their precious Son are seldom far from the forefront of my mind. I look forward to getting settled at home...after the tour is over...once all of this becomees yet another war story of Iraq...a "not the first time but the second time" story...and maybe Katherine and I will have more children? I surely hope so...but i'll leave that for the future. Tonight...i'll end in prayer for my friends and loved ones...and for the people who need it most...but aree too desperate to ask:

Father, I pray that you would continue to be our loving provider. I pray that we would have the courage to seek you when in need...and the honor to thank you and praise you...even when all seems right. For my family, friends, colleagues, and aquaintances, I ask for protection, security, and a warm embrace. I ask you to fill our hearts with love...with pure joy...with the recognition that all blessings come from you. I ask that you help us to love one another so honestly and sincerely...that we would be recognizable as family...as you intend for us to be as your children. For my firends that need your guidance in a time of seemingly insurmountable difficulty...i pray that they would seek you to grab them by the hand...pick them up, and carry them through their troubles. If only we were to release our attempts at control and rely on your strength and your resiliance...what troubles could stand in our way? Most importantly Father...we willingly and lovingly submit to your will...and your wisdom...and ask humbly that YOUR will be done in our lives...by us, through us, and for us. In the Name of Our Saviour, Jesus, Amen!

Good Night Everyone!

Pro Deo et Patria,

Will